How to Defy the Early Death of an Unused Life

The poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, once said The unused life is an early death. And centuries later, the sentiment still rings true. You may ask yourself, What is an Unused Life?

The Unused Life is the opposite of Living with Intention. It’s “going through the motions” instead of actually living. The Unused Life is suddenly realizing one day that you don’t remember what you’ve done with yourself for the past 5, 10, plus years.

But, this can be a bit much to grasp. So, let’s break it down a bit, shall we. First, we’ll define the Unused Life, recognize it, accept it, and then defy it.

Why? Because that’s how you tap back into a Life Full of Passion & Wonder.

DEFINE THE UNUSED LIFE

The proper definition of unused is “not habituated, not used, idle.” It can’t get any easier than that, my Darling.

An unused life is a life that is idle, not in use, not habituated. Downright tragic, isn’t it?

Think about it? How could you not make a habit of your own life? Not the actual physicality of it — our hearts are beating, after all– but the living of it.

Unfortunately, it’s fairly easy to do. You see, the Unused Life creeps up on you. It weasels its way in with Responsibility and takes years to mature.

Meanwhile, Responsibility comes charging at you like a bull in the ring. While you – an ill-prepared matador – survive by grabbing its horns and never letting go. There’s barely a moment to notice you let the weasel in.

It all starts off innocently enough. Shortly after high school Life happens, and you love it, as you should!

You get caught up in the fervor of your life, good and bad, better or worse, and somewhere along the way, the fervor controls you, instead of the other way around.

Somewhere along the way, you let go of the reins of your life and never bothered to ask who’s holding them.

RECOGNIZE THE UNUSED LIFE

First and foremost, by no means is this a pity party. This is not regret.

We do what we do when we have to do it, and that’s a good thing. Own it and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

You are caring, giving, loving, and strong. A true Warrior Spirit, but more on that later…

It’s easy to get caught in the snare of obligation. It’s practically revered in our culture because it bears “fruit”, complete with a white-picket-fence, a two-car garage, and 2.5 children.

But Life is to be lived, not administered, and maybe you wanted to live in a houseboat on the River Seine for a year?(*)

Perhaps you cultivated a beautiful marriage and family. Perhaps your career is spot-on. It could be a happy mix of all this and more, and yet you still feel a little…lost.(**)

Or perhaps you’ve been out of touch for a while and barely recognize yourself. Maybe you’ve become apathetic, passive, instead of curious and vibrant.

Do you accomplish a million things, and yet can’t account for any of them at the end of the day.

Do you mindlessly exclaim, “Oh, no I couldn’t,” without a moment’s thought to if you truly want to and could?

Are you reactionary rather than reckoning?

These are just a few examples of the Unused Life and don’t berate yourself if you’ve answered yes to any of them. It happens to all of us.

ACCEPTANCE

First things first, there is absolutely no room for regret or fret. Hope is never lost.

The You that was you — is still you — and it’s going to be so much fun to unfold and reveal yourself to yourself. It’s going to be so much fun to let your Little Light Shine…

It’s high time you reclaimed the reins of your life from whomever, and say, “Thanks. I’m good now. I’ve got this.”

Yes, you had hopes and dreams and feelings and reflections, and maybe it’s been years since you “used” any of them. Maybe you allowed yourself to disappear within the mist of thoughtless action.

Who cares? That was yesterday. You took care of everything and everyone, and you did your best. Cut yourself some slack.

Besides, the woe-is-me-attitude is, dare I say, decadent. And it wastes time.

All that matters is that you are aware Right Here, Right Now, and that today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Starting anew can be exciting, embrace it.

DEFY THE UNUSED LIFE

So how do you defy the Unused Life? How do you switch from not using your life, per se, to Living with Intention? Let’s begin…

Step One: Awareness and Acceptance

Although mentioned above, awareness and acceptance bear reminding because of their importance.

You simply cannot change anything about yourself, your circumstances, or surroundings, if you’re not honest with yourself about how you feel TODAY.

You start by declaring out loud if you have to, that you’re ready to grow, to expand, and to Live a Life Full of Passion & Wonder.

However, there is a very important aspect of this first step…approach.

Step Two: Approach

Once you’re honest with yourself that you’re ready to be the best version of You, you have to do so with a smile. Think about it.

You can’t grow into emotional well-being from a place of negativity. It simply won’t happen, and this is a key to Living with Intention.

When you approach anything in life with purpose, you are acting intentionally on your behalf. You are making a conscious thought to act AND you make a choice to be happy while you do it. It’s an attitude adjustment.

This attitude adjustment can be applied to both mundane and exciting endeavors. For instance, I listen to loud music and sing when I clean the house. And I have fun. There may be even be dancing involved.

The point is, I make a conscious choice to make the chore enjoyable. I intend the outcome and then operate accordingly.

I sometimes even look forward to cleaning because it’s time I spend with music which I love.

Algebra rules the world, Darling:

A (positive outlook) + B (chore gets done) = C (I’m happy)

Throw in the mathematical variables of free exercise and my house is actually clean, and it’s a win/win/win.

You see, when you put a smile on your face it automatically starts to make you happy. Go ahead, smile, right now.

You might even laugh at yourself because it feels weird to smile for “no reason”, but you’ll notice you feel less tense, you feel softer, you feel malleable.

Within that welcoming spirit, you can move mountains because when you Change Your Attitude, Change Your Perspective, You Change Your Life.

Step Three: You Start Today

What does that mean? It means that you’re not actually going to up and move to that houseboat on the River Seine! * Those were yesterday’s dreams. Today you have other dreams.

I’m certainly not who I was at 18 or 28, and I’m happy about that because it’s proof that I’ve evolved, matured, grown, and expanded my universe.

Starting today doesn’t mean you pick up where you were at 18 and eradicate all the positive things you’ve accomplished and experienced thus far.

It means you start today, where you are today. Bloom Where You Are Planted, My Darling.

Step 4: Take Action

This is the fun part! You defy the Unused Life by finding purpose again, by tapping into what makes you happy, what sparks your interest, what you’re passionate about.

You find your purpose by reconnecting with your soul, obviously already there waiting for you, and then living intentionally from this point on.

You reconnect with your soul, with your joy, by focusing the efforts of your Warrior Spirit onto yourself. The care, love, generosity, and strength you bestow upon others, you must also grace upon yourself.

Why? Because you are your first advocate, because you are responsible for your happiness, and because you deserve it, Darling, and you know it.

This is the ultimate 385 LIFE self-care tip: Allow yourself to love yourself the way you love others.

You are more than good enough. You are made in the eyes of God, and you are Glorious!

STARTING OUT

This is all great, you’re probably asking. But how do I start today?

It can seem daunting at first, I know. But that’s only because it’s unfamiliar territory. With practice you’ll be a Pro in no time.

You begin by getting reacquainted with yourself again. Settle down with a hot cup of coffee and ask yourself, What do I like to do? Where would I like to go? What would I like to try?

It doesn’t have to grandiose. Life is simple. We make it complicated.

Guilt helps to complicate matters and we humans are experts at guilt. You’re ashamed to feel something missing, lost (**) because it’s as if you’re spitting in the face of your blessings.

Don’t do that to yourself. You are equally as important as those you love and care for.

Remember, you bolster your abilities as a caregiver when you are cared for. Therefore, you pay your blessing forward and everyone wins.

Ask More Questions and Go Slow

Do you want to read more, exercise more, perhaps take a class? Travel? Make new friends? Take up a sport?

While you ask yourself these questions don’t worry about the COVID state of affairs. Today is a day for the luxury of rumination.

An idea might have already come to mind. That thing that you’ve been putting off because you feel guilty taking time out for yourself. Or because you think you’re not good enough, or it sounds silly, the list goes on.

Don’t concern yourself if nothing comes to mind. You don’t have to answer any of this right now.

Take time to sit with the pleasure of simply knowing that, today, you DECIDED to take action.

Sit for a spell with this comfy feeling of love, hope, joy, and aspiration. There are so many wonderful opportunities awaiting you.

Romance the thrilling expectation of it all. Allow yourself time to marinate with promise.

In the meantime, there are several “marinating” activities you can do to get your creative juices flowing:

• Meditation and Prayer.
• Adult Coloring Books.
• Nature Walks – around the block is just fine!
• Caring for Animals.
• Visit a Museum.
• Listen to Soft Music.
• Sleep – proper sleep works wonders.
• Change One Aspect of Your Daily Routine – go left instead of right next time.
• Rearrange Furniture.
• Sit in a Chair and Just Be Silent.

Any of these activities allows you to step outside of yourself, outside of your routine. Once you do that, your conscious mind will automatically shift toward awareness because it can’t sit pretty with familiarity.

These activities force you to relax and sit in silence. And now a word about Silence.

Silence is golden.

While silence itself is soothing, it’s also divine. All the answers you seek lie in the Quiet. Magic and wonder await you within the Silence.

Just five minutes of quiet peace can change your life dramatically.

WRAP UP

Today’s Nugget: You Defy the Unused Life by Living with Purpose. You Live with purpose by making conscious thoughts, within a positive frame of mind, and seek joy every day.

This is how you live the 385 Life with Passion and Wonder. When you do this, you live, you love, and you grow every day.

Join me next time when we step further into living a life full of Passion & Wonder. I’ll reveal the Number One Tool in your 385 Life Toolbox!

Be Well!