Define Your Style: Step 1 Attitude

Style. Let’s be honest, for some this can be a four-letter word.

For most, however, I believe it’s chiefly misunderstood and has lost its meaning.

Case in point: I recently had a discussion with some friends concerning the concept of personal style and when I brought it up, they laughed at me!

“Oh, please, Cynthia, Style? Don’t you mean lack thereof?”  

No, I didn’t. Let’s face it, whether you want to or not, even no style exhibits a style.

The lighthearted conversation soon morphed into a full-blown analysis on Style and Women in general. It dawned on me that many women prefer not to contemplate the notion at all. This got me to thinking, and I decided to poll more ladies in order to get an impression of the general consensus.

Sadly, I learned the same sentiment crossed generations and ethnic backgrounds.

NOT COOL

The apparent theme among the ladies was the lack of motivation.  They didn’t bother to attempt a “style” because they didn’t feel worthy in one way, shape, or form.  Let me share tidbits from the sounding board:

“Oh, God, I simply don’t have time.”
“I don’t have the money for that.”
“Why bother?”
“It’s such a chore!”
“Why would I style this body?”, or its sister Sin of Sins,
“I’m too old for that.”

I started to tune some of it out because I felt infected with dispiritedness. It’s one thing if your “no” style is a style made in loving acceptance of yourself, but the exclamations above alluded to something deeper – I’m conducting a new study on this actually and when I’ve completed compiling the results, I will update this post accordingly – but, I digress.

I happen to love style and I’m not entirely sure why, but I think it lies somewhere with the fact that I love being female.  I used to take that joy for granted but not anymore, and I’m convinced not very many of us actually ENJOY our femininity.

NOT MANY OF US ENJOY OUR FEMININITY

That’s where the Nugget of unworthiness lies.  I’m no psychiatrist, that’s for sure, but doesn’t that ring true a bit?

I’m a regular, ordinary woman, neither model nor societal-ly defined as young, pretty, or thin. There was a time when I wore all those labels, except for the model part. Although, I did give The School of Barbizon the good old college try, but it didn’t last very long.  I knew early on modeling was not for me.

Despite my “ordinary-ness”, I love being a woman.  I love dressing up as much as I did in my younger days, and I love makeup and getting my hair done.  That feeling when I walk out of a salon and my hair is Perfect, is sublime.

I love it so much that my Date Nights with The Hubster correspond with salon visits, because letting good hair and a great attitude go to waste would be so wrong!

I remember as a little girl watching my grandmother get ready for the day.  She’d bathe, moisturize her face, apply lotions and perfume; she’d comb her hair, apply a simple, 5-minute face and finish it all off with accessories of choice.  

SHE WAS CALM, PEACEFUL

“Cindy, a Lady must always take the time to take care of herself.  Grooming and hygiene are about self-care.  Try not to rush through this. Give yourself the time to love yourself and prepare for your day. I promise, you’ll feel wonderful. Gift yourself these moments because you’re worthy of them, and the people in your life are worthy of You”.

– Ina Figueroa

I think she was right. For me, Style goes far deeper than clothes and accessories. Those things are visual manifestations of a deeper connection I have with myself, and most importantly, have accepted and am happy with.

The first "rule" of Style is to embrace a positive frame of mind, to foster the right attitude and… Share on X

LOVE YOURSELF

That doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments, and plenty of them, as I’m sure you do too. However, I try to be aware of those “bad” days and I try to remember her words of wisdom. I strive to love myself through the bad days, to give myself permission to love myself, and to accept the truth of “I’m worth it.”

I feel the time it takes to do so is important because I feel I am important. I am a living, breathing, loving woman full of vigor and joie de vivre. I matter and, quite frankly, so do you!

YOU ARE CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION

When you do this continually, you’ll gain a cheerful confidence. You’ll then start to notice a change in your demeanor.

You’ll stand straighter, smile more and carry yourself accordingly.  You’ll feel “right” in your own skin and things will seemingly fall into place better. 

You’re perspective opens up to new possibilities and you just feel good. This positive attitude will begin to seep into all areas of your life adding to your daily sense of fulfillment. Just Marvelous!

Before clothes, shoes, bags, makeup and the like, you should strive to comprehend on a cellular level that regardless of age, height, weight, complexion, hair color, etc., you’re worth the trouble, worth the time, and you matter.

Let’s focus on that for the next month or so.  Over the next 30 days repeat this mantra to yourself every morning and night:

I LOVE MYSELF
I AM WORTHY
I AM BEAUTIFUL

Once you’ve got that under your belt, we’ll tackle the Next Step toward Defining Your Style.

Be Well!

Cynthia
385Life
Live · Love · Learn

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